the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
