Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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