Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
