I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Pappa wants mamma naked
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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