Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
