This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
