Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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