I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
