I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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