Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
