I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
