"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
