the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
