Is it normal to miss your booty call?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
