I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
