hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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