That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize