Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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