you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
