she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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