id be glad to
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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