I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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