perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
