shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
