Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize