I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
