I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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