bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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