Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
