i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
