she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
even my farts smell like vagina
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
