grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
