Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
