Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
