Can i not drive my cunt home
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
