You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
