I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize