yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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