and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
