he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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