dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
