its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
