we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You ate ashes out of my bong
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
