My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
