all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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