Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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