What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
