Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
