no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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