Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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