When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
