what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
