So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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