it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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