it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
