Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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