dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
