Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize