quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
3pm strippers are depressing
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize