It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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