I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
How drunk are you?
Completed.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
