I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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