Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
