well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize