Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
