a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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